keeping cheap wine next to the shampoo in the shower

Thoughts on the elliptical today after too much adulting: 2016 has been a back and forth of me being adult as f**k and regressing to cuddling with my mom while she reads me picture books. And then (as anyone who has me added on Snapchat will know) me crying in the shower while drinking $5 wine from the bottle. So much that the 1.5 litre bottle comes with me to the shower. Do you know how hard it is to drink from that size of a bottle? Not easy. Semi-pro status. Semi/mostly alcoholic status.

So today I went to talk to an admissions counselor at the tech school here in Foco to discuss their cosmetology program. I mean, I dye my hair so much I might as well make a career out of it, right? Torture someone else’s hair instead of mine for once (my hair has yet to forgive me). I almost signed my next year away to the school, ready to get up in the morning for school and feel like I’m actually doing something with my life; but instead I told him I’d give it a few days to think it over. Reality: Got into my car and drove away seriously considering it and then having yet another existential crisis of WHY AM I HERE AND WHAT THE F AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE.

Queue me coming home and sitting at my computer for 2 hours and looking at the programs the community college and CSU offer that don’t require extensive amount of time or a GRE only to realize that I have no idea what I want to do. I just want to drift.

Well, one thing I realized: I definitely don’t want to stay in FoCo. I love the mountains, don’t get me wrong, I never want to be away from them, but this is just a college town. And I hate people my age (minus you, D*).

But wherever I go, there has to be mountains. There is no greater high than the height of a mountain.

It might be Portland, Seattle, maybe some place in California. Who knows. Maybe even Denver to give Colorado another chance. I just know, and have finally realized, I’m not ready to settle down anywhere. I can’t go back to school yet because I don’t want to be tied down anywhere. That’s okay. Honestly, I’ll probably wait until I’m 30 to settle down… or maybe wait a little longer.

And I guess for those of you who I don’t have on SnapChat (you should totally add me if you have my number because it’s mostly pictures of my rats and the occasional self-depricating humorous selfie), here’s my life encapsulated in a picture:


I don’t think I can think of a witty caption for this or an ending to this post.

Oh, and side note, did I mention I’m not vegan anymore? Being unemployed and pretty broke sucks. At least tofu is cheap.

And second side note: I like eating frozen bread. It’s like pita, but you don’t have to toast it. Then put pizza sauce on it. It’s like eating cheap pizza. Come at me, world.

*until I have permission, we’re gonna call my friend “D” because we all know how it went with Rob wanting me to call him “Blob” on my blog. I have no regrets in saying his name now since I’m almost positive he doesn’t read this anymore. Thank god. But I know that D reads my blog cause I make him. Sort of. You don’t really have to. I know how depressing it is sometimes.


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