that time my life finally started

So long Maryland! It’s been real.

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This is it guys. I have exactly 4 more months of living in Maryland and then I’m leaving everything behind. Even my furniture and my cat (sorry, Dexter). I’m off to Colorado! Everyone keeps asking me what I’m going to do out there or why I want to move there and honestly? I don’t know. My answer? Why not? I’ve never fallen in love with a place so much as I have with Colorado. The mountains are beautiful, the skies are huge, and the air is clear.

You know what I did realize though? I’m going to go through so many pairs of socks. And I HATE doing sock laundry. That’s part of the reason why none of my socks match, and it’s not just to annoy Blob. I just hate sorting socks. It’s a freakin’ scavenger hunt.

But this is a real thing now though. I found housing and I’m going to be signing a lease for a shared apartment in August! Ok so it’s not the greatest living situation, but for packing up my rat and all my clothes into my car and driving 25 hours and having a place to go to directly? Yeah, I’m ok with that. I don’t have to worry about my furniture or finding roommates or anything. Step 1 covered. Step 2: Get my car across the country without it dying. Step 3: Find a job. I got this, right? Who wants to drive with me?

In celebration of spending money on expensive things, I bought myself another hula hoop as well. Those crazy hoop tricks aren’t just for dumb rave kids, guys. Don’t judge so much. I’ve only found myself smiling when I’m inside a plastic circle lately. It’s re sparked my love of performance art and how much I love dancing. It’s freeing. And frustrating. I’ve only been playing with a hoop for 3 weeks and I can smack myself in the face repeatedly and do a back roll. But dammit I will become a hoop queen. And that’s why I bought another hoop for different kinds of tricks. I’ve never really had a real hobby before, so it feels so good to have this now. Every night, I look forward to pouring myself a beer and feeling some plastic roll across my skin while I blast all of my favorite music. These nights are better than the ones I used to spend with a bottle of cheap wine and a Netflix marathon. I go to bed so happy I have trouble falling asleep.

I’m seeing the world with new eyes. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. The world is slowly opening and I won’t have to conform to society’s or my family’s standards anymore. I’m about to live my life how I’ve wanted to. Free, nomadic, no direction. My only goal is to live and enjoy this beautiful world. I will never settle down. I won’t settle for a 9-5 job or buy a house and get married and have 2 and a half kids. This is my journey. I’m never going to settle down anywhere and I’m ok with that. If I find myself living out of my car, that’s ok too.

I’ve accomplished so much.

And it feels so good.

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