that time my coworker accidentally broom raped me

Got ya. I totally just wanted to use that as my title because I told him that I would. Shout out to Mik for playing it cool. Mostly. Shout out to me for keeping it togeth-hold up. I don’t think sitting on the floor tearing up from laughing is keeping it together. It’s ok though, guys. Now I know that rape CAN be an accident. And that broom handles and vaginas do not go well together. That’s probably how IUDs get dislodged. Moving on.

24 hours later, I’m finally lucid. I finally have my body back. Most of the time, my dominant alternate personality, Alice, only sticks around for roughly 4 to 5 hours, which is just enough time to do a lot of damage and then fuck off when she doesn’t want to deal with the damage she’s caused and leaves me exhausted and often high and dry. So try 24 hours of that. I checked my phone and it wasn’t pretty. Dammit, Alice, I even password protected my phone because of you! So I guess that doesn’t work on alternate personalities that have your memories? Identity theft taken to another level.

Being the manic and kind of your worst nightmare psycho girlfriend type is exhausting. Transitioning into another person is just weird. For me, it’s more of a depersonalization because I was there the whole time, but it’s like being behind a sound and bulletproof piece of glass and watching your life happen how someone else would play it out. The other weird part is that she is strong enough that she knows my entire life. She even knows how to do my job, which is convenient (because damn, I made out good serving today and I didn’t have to do a thing or somehow get my shift covered), but she is an awful human being. Maybe kind of misunderstood, but awful. Alice didn’t have to keep sneaking really terrible notes to Blob about wanting to take a bunch of xanax and calling him a sociopath repeatedly. He knows he’s a sociopath. And I do not want to end up in the hospital again. But here I am, thankfully with no pills in my system, at home and somehow I think I managed to stay sober the whole time (someone correct me if I’m wrong). I’m sorry Blob.

Alice is like a drug. When I’m Alice, I am unstoppable-

holy mother of jesus fuck.

Excuse my language.

I think I had my first bipolar manic episode. Back to diagnosis square one.

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