What would happen if I opened a store JUST for adult coloring books? Man, I’d make so much money. I wouldn’t even need this degree. And I think I would love my life too cause all I would be doing all day is coloring and advising people about what kind of coloring book they should buy. And I’d be the perfect sales person.
Customer: So, I’m just getting into the whole adult coloring book phenomenon. I want something kind of trippy maybe. Lots of detail but not too intricate.
Me: SO LOOK AT THIS ONE *throws jellyfish coloring book at customer* I COLORED HALF THIS BOOK WHILE LISTENING TO BASSNECTAR AND EATING AN EDIBLE
Ok that hasn’t actually happened. But for any stoner out there, you should know that you are missing out on adult coloring books. For some reason, I think I was way better at coloring when I was younger. But I love that now I can fucking color and no one goes “oh, no, actually dandelions are yellow.”
5 year old me: “Bitch, it’s MY dandelion. I can color it purple if I damn well please. STOP SUPPRESSING MY ARTISTIC SIDE.”
I don’t think I actually cussed that much as a 5 year old and I don’t think I ever yelled at anyone either, but I think that if I could go back in time and be 5 years old again (which would be awesome because adulting is too hard. I miss nap times and snack times and playing with shaving cream on the desks) I would probably be like that.
I guess that doesn’t make sense considering that I had to live through the other 17 years to get that attitude.. but whatever. Time machines are coming along just swiftly, aren’t they?
This rant is brought to you by my insomniatic thoughts last night as I was trying to sleep. And kept thinking about coloring books.